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“I will bless you with a future filled with hope—a future of success, not of suffering.”
Jeremiah 29:11 CEV
“I’m not getting a new phone”! “I can’t pay the 5”! “I’m not buying a new phone”. These were the phrases I shouted repeatedly one day; let’s be honest for the past several weeks every time I heard the notification sound go off on my phone or when I couldn’t hear the caller on the other end when I tried to answer a call periodically.
My iPhone was making a weird busted bell sound, similar to a rotary telephone. As annoying as it was I was unwilling to be moved by the small warning signs that something was wrong. I was trying not to be impulsive with a new purchase but as the past two months have gone by things were getting worse. I had concluded that cell phones were WAY overpriced and I’d make do until I absolutely had to get a new one. Especially, with me being a stay home mom I like to justify my spending because I never want us to be short because of me. When the fear that we wouldn’t have enough always seemed to rear its ugly head and I’d just shout some silly nonsense about how I wasn’t buying a new phone.
That was until last week when I was cleaning the bathroom and the Holy Spirit said: “ what if God wants you to have a new phone but you won’t let Him bless you”. OUCH!! I stood there in childlike fashion looking sad without a rebuttal of why. I went on my way and never started looking for a phone or asking for forgiveness for blocking a possible blessing from God. And wouldn’t you know it my phone got WORSE!!! By this time my husband was looking at me like come on woman get a phone already. But guess who was still stubborn as a mule? I wouldn’t hear of it until Sunday afternoon on our way home from church. As we rode along talking my phone makes that busted bell sound and my husband gently says “ boo, what if God wants to give you a new phone as a blessing and you won’t let him? He called you to start your business and if your phone doesn’t work how can people get in touch with you?” Double OUCH!
REALLY GOD!!! You’re gonna use him too, how does he even know what you already had the Holy Spirit whisper to me almost verbatim? At that point I confessed it and told him about my bathroom revelation. I’d like to say I repented right there ridding along but I’d be lying. I waited a day to process it all when I should’ve just asked for God’s forgiveness and guidance.
A lot of times we will think that there’s no way God wants to do that for me because we think we’re supposed to toil and labor extremely hard to “earn it” to say we accomplished something or we deserve to treat ourselves. However, I believe there are times when God is looking to upgrade us in areas that we aren’t aware of. Fear will keep us in bondage and paralyzed from moving into the territory God is bidding us to. I can sometimes desire to hear from God so deeply that I’m afraid I will or have already missed His direction.
Other times, my experience has been that I’ll ask God for direction in one area and He will point to another area for me to work; all of which seems to be unrelated to me but they’re not.
He knows when we resolve that issue with our husband that our heart will remain pliable to forgiveness when we have to later handle an irate customer who had a bad day and chosen you as target practice. He knows that if we learn to extend grace to others around us that we will also extend it to ourselves when we fall short of our unrealistic goals. Those examples seem unrelated to us but maybe God is trying to sharpen our hearing so much that when He is speaking about anything; even getting a new cell phone we aren’t shouting back at our father that we aren’t going to do what he’s asking. When we don’t listen and obey we miss out on the blessings God has in store for us. I’m thankful that we serve a God who specializes in second chances and forgiveness even when I don’t always listen, inquire, and obey at the onset.
Father, how grateful we are that Your desire to bless us outweighs our doubt and fear. Thank You that your love outweighs our sin. Amen