Can you Handle being in the background
Can you handle being in the background?
Galatians 1:10 GNB
Does this sound as if I am trying to win human
approval? No indeed! What I want is God’s approval! Am I trying to be popular
with people? If I were still trying to do so, I would not be a servant if
Christ
Can you Handle being in the background and not being
seen? That’s the question that God posed to me one day while I was cleaning up
after my boys for what felt like the millionth time that day. I answered after
hearing that question like “come on God YES, I am at home with my boys, aren’t
I? I haven’t been in the corporate workforce since May 28th, 2015.
You know I am good with that”. I thought
that conversation was over but if you have ever had a conversation with God, you
know that’s likely to not be the case.
Later that night I was in the shower and He showed me
the ways that I wasn’t comfortable being in the background. The things he
showed me I thought were innocent enough and totally not out of order but He
wanted to show me that to serve Him truly means taking a back seat even when
you want to scream "HEY!! I've been praying for you." I stood there
thinking God wait so I am not supposed to tell someone that I have been praying
for them? I am totally confused, how does that work?
Well, God is so sweet with His correction that He will
walk you kindly back to the place of error and show you a better way AND where
you got off track. He showed me that I had a friendship with a couple who had
been struggling with infertility issues for the first few years of their
marriage and how He allowed me to co-labor with Him by praying that He would
open the wife's womb and conceive. I'd been praying as He led and then our
friendship dissolved. I felt that it was not my fault that our friendship had
fallen apart and God told me it didn't matter who was at fault "you are
still to pray". I was angry and hurt so I did what most people do in the
age of social media… I "unfollowed" her. However, God was STILL
calling me to do as He had instructed; which was to pray.
Man, did it hurt and it was most uncomfortable to do;
but I knew I had to because the urge to keep calling out for a child on their
behalf was so strong. Although I'd unfollowed my former friends, my husband
remained friends with them on social media and from time to time he would tell
me the good things going on with them. I NEVER wanted any ill will to befall
them but I was hurt and didn’t want to hear it. However, as I continued to pray
my heart softened. Finally, after years of praying as friends and months of praying
after not speaking to one another, my husband said that they were expecting. I
was elated, I was overwhelmed that God had answered the prayers that had been
prayed. I debated if I should reach out and congratulate them and after a few
days I posted on her wall" … I am SO EXCITED for you all congratulations.
I never stopped praying for you all. God is worthy to be praised for this great
miracle". Sounds harmless right but smack in the middle of it He shows me
that He will NOT share His glory with ANYONE even if He asked me to pray. That
one phrase "I never stopped praying for you all"; OUCH right? Truth
is I was truly happy for them and I am glad God heard not just my prayers but
the many offered on their behalf but what He was showing me was that what my
heart was really saying was "look I still prayed for you even after we
weren't friends… you're welcome".
It was that day that God told me that the heart of an intercessor is to serve Him whether anyone knows or not as long as He knows.
People will never respond in the way we want especially if we feel we have been
wronged and that little bit of "shine" from that post that got ZERO
acknowledgment was all that I was going to get. God wasn't pleased then and
isn't when we work out of selfish ambition. We are to serve Him with a pure
heart unto His glory. I am not fully surrendered to being in the background but
I am better than I was. I am happy to die to my flesh as long as God keeps
choosing me knowing that I will fall but rise again to serve Him.
Dear Lord, I thank you for renewing a right spirit and
clean heart within me. Thank you that even when my heart is broken you can take
the pieces and put them together for your good. Thank you that your correction
is for my good and your glory. -Amen
Wow! What a powerful post. So honest, so authentic....i too am guilty of being like hhhéeeyyyy i have been praying for ya! But the Lord makes it very clear that everything is for HIS Glory!
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